Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.