Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari.
"Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?"
"Because I feel like it."
"Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari."
"Whatever."
So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour.
Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up.
"I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?"
"It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
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