Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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There was an old married couple who love each other very much.
But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him.
The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop."
Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind.
She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while.
Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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There once was a girl named Suzy Brown
Said no one could lay her down.
Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete,
With forty pounds of swinging meat.
He took her in the long tall grass,
Shoved his dick right up her ass.
Then she blew one gnarly fart,
Blew his ball two feet apart.
Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete,
With forty pounds of shredded meat.
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