Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.