When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
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Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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Joke has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office.
The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?"
The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
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Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea?
He drowned in his teepee!
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How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
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Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
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Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower.
Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall.
He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A: A spec.
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