Joke #5894

Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
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Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
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What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
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Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
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After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
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What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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