Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Joke has 22.40 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day