Joke #5894

Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Vote:
has 75.83 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.
Vote:
has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, time, work
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote:
has 64.45 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dirty
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
Vote:
has 82.08 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fitness
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Vote:
has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!" Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!" Father: "But you have to start with something!"
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, black humor
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote:
has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote:
has 44.53 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Vote:
has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
Vote:
has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death, music