Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!