Joke #5908

A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots. The bartender asks him if it's a special occation? The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob". The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house". The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".

What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste

Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.

That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.

Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.

You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.

Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies " Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies " Oh I have a personal genie" The first man asks "Can i make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt He?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.