A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots.
The bartender asks him if it's a special occation?
The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob".
The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house".
The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
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A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms.
The cashier asks him if he wants a bag.
He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid on
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball?
You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."
"No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass.
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street.
He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish."
The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka."
When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses.
She asks what they'll be drinking.
He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her.
It was the best vodka they'd ever had.
The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass.
She asks, "Why only one glass?"
"Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
Nothing spreads easier than butter, except for yo mommas legs.
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course?
A: The 19th hole.
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"