A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots.
The bartender asks him if it's a special occation?
The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob".
The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house".
The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
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Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass?
A: He becomes a toblerone!
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Q: Why are pubic hairs curly?
A: So you don't poke your eye out.
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
There is this guy and he wants to marry a girl but he is bad at choosing girls so he has a contest.
First one to get as many ping pong balls as they can is my wife.
The first girl brings back a whole bucket of them. the guy goes good, good.
The 2 girl brings back a truck load of ping pong balls. He says, "Wow that will be hard to beat."
Then the 3 girl comes back all bloody and bruised and is holding 2 big bloody things.
The guy says, "What are those, I said ping pong balls."
"Oh,"Says the 3 girl, "I thought you said King Kong's balls."
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
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