Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
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Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
- You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
- If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
- The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
- You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some.
- 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.
- If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
- It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure.
- You can do the whole neighborhood.
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak dick...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207.
Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy?
Gang rape.
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York.
At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady.
What are both men thinking?
Don't look down.