Joke #5917

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."

Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"

Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.

I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.

Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"

Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".

You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.