I would kick you straight in the vagina...
If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
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Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy?
Gang rape.
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road.
The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.
"We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks.
Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."
"But it stinks!" she exclaims.
"So hold its nose!"
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Nobody is born cool. Except of course, dead babies.
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
Vote:
Why do women fart after they take a piss?
Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
