Joke #889

I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Vote:
has 68.14 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Vote:
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Man gives blood too save his wifes life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."
Vote:
has 78.79 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Vote:
has 36.72 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly? A: He knows where all the naughty girls live.
Vote:
has 80.16 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life, Santa, women
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Vote:
has 36.21 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, geography, sex, technology
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
Vote:
has 77.45 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Vote:
has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
Vote:
has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?" Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
Vote:
has 83.02 % from 652 votes. More jokes about: dirty