Joke #8319

What type of pussy does a priest get? Nun.
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has 79.91 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Q: Why did the lumber truck stop? A: To let the lumber jack off.
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
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has 75.27 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, sport
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus. When his father left to buy popcorn, the boy asked, "Mom, what's that long thing on the elephant?" "That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied. "No, Mom, down underneath." His mother blushed and said, "Oh, that's nothing." The father returned, and the mother went off to get a soda. As soon as she left, the boy repeated his question. The father took a good look and explained, "That's the elephant's penis." "Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it was nothing?" The man took a deep breath and replied, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."
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has 83.32 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
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has 69.23 % from 743 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
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has 66.27 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty