What type of pussy does a priest get?
Nun.
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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote:
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed.
The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
There is a four story building.
On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles.
So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window.
Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off.
It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story.
Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it.
He then told his wife:
Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
What did O say to Q
Dude your dicks hanging out
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
A man walks into a sperm Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.