Joke #5932

A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"

Ok, So superman was flying around on day after he had saved the world. "Man that was hard work, Now I need to relax and f*ck a b*tch." And so he went to the batcave. He walked over to batman and asked, "You know any hoes that just want to have s*x?" Batman looked and replied, "Well I heard superwomen wants to have s*x." Superman looked at him and shook his head,"Well superwomen wants to have s*x with EVERYONE." So intern he goes to robin, "Look robin I know your gay and all but do you know any hoes that want to f*ck." Robin replies, "Well I heard superwomens pretty good." Superman looks and says,"Well EVERYONE hears superwomen is good." Pissed superman flies off. While hes flying he passes over a field. He looks down and sees superwomen completly naked with her legs spread. Superman thinks to himself, "I can get in and out in faster than a speeding bullet." So he flies down gets in and gets out faster than a bullet. Back in the field superwomen looks around and says, "What the f*ck was that?" and invisible man says, "I don't know but my ass hurts."

We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.

Dear Husband, I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me. Love, Dishes

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?

What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.

Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.

Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"

In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.