Joke #673

Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
Vote:
has 65.79 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man who just died is taken to the local mortuary. He is wearing an very expensive and high quality tailored blue suit. The mortician is a blonde female and she asks the wife of the deceased man wife how she would like the body to be dressed. The motician says that the man does look very distinguished in the blue suit he is already wearing. His widow, however, says that she always preferred her husband in black, and that she would like him in a black suit. She gives the blonde mortician a signed, blank cheque and says, "Spend whatever you need no matter what the cost, but please have my husband in a well tailored black suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the viewing and to her delight, her husband dressed in a fabulous black suit. The suit fits him as if it were tailor made. She says to the mortician, "You have done a magnificent job and I'm very pleased and grateful. How much did the suit cost?" To her amazement, the blonde mortician gives her back the blank cheque. "There's no charge," she says. "No, really, I must repay you for the cost of that exquisite black suit!" she says. "Honestly," the blonde says, "It cost me nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husbands size was brought in yesterday shortly after you left, he was dressed in a very attractive black suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a beautifully tailored blue suit instead, and she said it did not make any difference as long as he looked good..." "So I just swapped their heads."
Vote:
has 73.83 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Dough Nuts!
Vote:
has 49.74 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly? A: He knows where all the naughty girls live.
Vote:
has 80.87 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life, Santa, women
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
Vote:
has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
Vote:
has 24.15 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
Vote:
has 79.15 % from 1104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
Vote:
has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake for desert?" The Bartender reply's "$5". The guy still amazed then orders everything and after he is done eating his meal then says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place". The bartender then says "Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife". The guy looks all confused then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?" The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business".
Vote:
has 85.48 % from 1996 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, business, dirty
Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? A: Better traction.
Vote:
has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, travel
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
Vote:
has 17.33 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, dirty, sex, women