Why do people say 'Grow some balls?'
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.
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Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body.
More humiliating?
It was attached to my left breast.
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night?
A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom.
A barmaid at night is bare and...
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning.
He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor.
it reads, "Do you have any naked photos of your wife?"
Outraged the man replies, "NO I DO NOT!"
Shortly after he receives a second e-mail from his neighbor.
Expecting an apology he opens the e-mail.
It reads, "Want to buy some?"
What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside?
Coconut.... What were you thinking?
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
One day, a hippie and a nun get on a bus.
The hippie whispers into the nun's ear and says
"You wanna have sex?" and the nun says,
"No way you sicko!", after that, the hippie gets off the bus and tells the bus driver to tell the nuns to go to the graveyard at 9:00pm that night.
At 9:00pm the nun arrives at the graveyard and the hippie is there dressed as god.
The hippie then commands the nun to have sex with him and the nun replies,
"Ok, but can you do it up the back?", the hippie agrees and they do it.
After they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells,
"HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"