Why do people say 'Grow some balls?'
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.
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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Who's the biggest prostitute in history?
Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair.
"Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take."
A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y.
The boots are sucked right in.
He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in.
He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in.
Inside he hears noises.
"Is someone else in here?" he asks.
"Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says.
"Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says.
"Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies.
E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly.
The question was, "What do you like most in a woman."
The man replied, "My d*ck."
My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her.
"...........dishes."
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops.
He runs towards his school and into his classroom.
He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing".
The teacher says "Yes".
Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there.
He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there.
So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt".
Little Johnny says "O.K."
The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?".
The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't".
When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now".
Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind."
Son say, "I'm over here?"
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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