Joke #5955

My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."

Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.

Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!

There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.

A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me." "I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."

This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.

Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.

Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."