Joke #5955

My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
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has 58.06 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist” The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.” The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, doctor, love
Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson. "Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."
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has 84.62 % from 791 votes. More jokes about: dirty, science, teacher
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
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has 85.16 % from 1854 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, sex
What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
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has 41.82 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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has 71.99 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, masturbation, sex
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!
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has 82.16 % from 1569 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year." The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."
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has 75.77 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 72.45 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting