Joke #5509

Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.

A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."

The neighbor from below told me that If I flood him once again, he will rape me. So I turn on the water. I sit and wait.

What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Dough Nuts!

My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common? A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.

Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."

Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!