Joke #5509

Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
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Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
Vote: has 75.97 % from 350 votes. Send joke:

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One day a mom and her son went to the zoo. There they saw two monkeys having sex. The son asked "What are they doing?". The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?" "Making frosting" she said. Later that night he saw there mom doing it. In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"
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Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies " Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies " Oh I have a personal genie" The first man asks "Can i make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt He?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
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My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her. "...........dishes."
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Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big? A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.
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Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. First Lady:Whats that? Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet. First Lady: Where did you get it? Second Lady : You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
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What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Are you gonna eat that?
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