What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."