What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
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If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
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A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.
After a while, the doctor came in with the results.
"Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.."
"Doctor..! How much time do I have..?"
"Ten..."
"Ten what? Months? Years? What?!"
"Nine...Eight...Seven..."
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Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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Why are little girls better than little boys?
Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.
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