A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."