A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
Vote:
Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing:
"Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…"
"What did you see?"
"I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…"
"Wow horror!"
"Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"
Vote:
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
Vote:
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
Vote:
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
Vote:
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Vote:
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
Vote:
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Vote:
What do u call a black priest?
Holy shit.
Vote:
