Joke #613

Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
Vote:
has 72.59 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament. From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament. The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV. A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here." He begins to have sex with her the whole night. She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it. At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited. He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!" One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"
Vote:
has 83.52 % from 475 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy. A: Indi-anus
Vote:
has 42.00 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, gay, racist
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote:
has 71.12 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
Vote:
has 74.78 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, marriage, mean, sex
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Vote:
has 63.80 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass? A: He becomes a toblerone!
Vote:
has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, food
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
Vote:
has 83.67 % from 546 votes. More jokes about: dirty
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head. The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck. His daughter comes in with her date. The man explains the situation, and the daughter's date says, "I can get the peanut out." He tells the father to sit down, shoves two fingers into the father's nose, and tells him to blow hard. The father blows, and the peanut flies out of his ear. After the daughter takes her date to the kitchen for something to eat, the mother turns to the father and says, "Isn't he smart? I wonder what he plans to be." The father says, "From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law."
Vote:
has 84.40 % from 572 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please. The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions. The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence. The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have? The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have? The lady said potat. Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuck out of onions what do you have? "But there's no fuck in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"
Vote:
has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty