Joke #613

Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
Vote: has 71.35 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

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Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
Vote: has 57.82 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
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A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Vote: has 23.04 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Vote: has 42.40 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt? A: Self-employed.
Vote: has 71.29 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom." One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away." She says: "What about the good in bed part?" He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
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Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
Vote: has 81.32 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

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A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.” The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”
Vote: has 78.38 % from 186 votes. Send joke:

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You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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