Joke #613

Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
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has 71.87 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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There guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs, where he finds a beautiful naked woman with a sign that says "If you catch me, you can screw me." An hour later, he emerges, sated and 20 lbs. lighter. A month later, he returns and needs to lose 50 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs again, but this time there are two girls with the same sign. A day later, he comes out 50 lbs. lighter. A year later, he returns and needs to lose 100 lbs. He gets sent upstairs again, where he finds a huge gorilla with a sign that reads "If I catch you, I screw you."
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has 84.86 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?" His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!" Boy say, "Do her d*ggy style I want a puppy."
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has 83.85 % from 532 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What is the geographical definition of s*x? Ans: It is an action done by the polland in the holland between the thailand with the little help of greece.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
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has 75.97 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, masturbation, money, sex
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
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has 68.85 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
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has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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has 74.81 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex