Joke #6994

A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom." One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away." She says: "What about the good in bed part?" He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter." His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?" "I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.

I'd like to think inside your box.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

Teacher draws a pen*s on the blackboard . Does any one know what that is? "Yes," says Tommy. "My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."

Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!