How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
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A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Why'd the Mexican army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?
There was only two vans.
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break?
If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office.
“Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General began, “I can’t give out any medals.
We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.
What we’ve decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body.
You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts.
We’ll start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?”
Soldier 1: “The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!”
General: “Very good son, that’s 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds”
Soldier 2: “The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!”
General: “Even better son, that’s 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds”
Soldier 3: “The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!”
General: “That’s a strange but fair request, son!
As the general begins the measurement: “What!
Son, where is your left pinky?”
Soldier 3: “Falkland Island, sahr!”
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt.
She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt.
The doctor told her to demonstrate.
She touched her nose and it hurt.
She touched her stomach and it hurt.
The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes.
"Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"