Joke #622

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
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has 84.81 % from 808 votes. More jokes about: blonde, military

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A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking
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has 52.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, military
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area when a sniper's bullet removed a button from his shirt. He threw himself to the ground in terror. The men stood around with the greatest unconcern. The general yelled at a passing sergeant. "Hey, isn't somebody going to kill that damned sniper?" The sergeant looked down at the general and replied: "I guess not, general. We're scared that if we kill him the enemy will replace him with somebody who really knows how to shoot."
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has 85.53 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: military
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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has 41.24 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
At a Barrack, the commander calls the captain: "Take as many soldiers you need and start building additional toilets. The number of the people in need has increased!" "I would suggest, sir, instead of building more toilets, maybe we should hire a new cook!"
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has 81.04 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: military
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.” “Why not?” “I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
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has 83.77 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, travel
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? So she could have shade when she swam across!
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
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has 39.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." "Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle." "What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
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has 81.78 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: military
The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE." Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need CHANGE! This brings to mind the following illustration... Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz..." "Change, now get on with it!" And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, military, political, time