A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
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How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up?
"Iraqi Army."
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked.
"Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically.
"But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice.
And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches.
But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t, they’re born that way!
A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts."
He asks "What do you mean?"
So she showed him what she meant.
She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren't you?"
She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?"
Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."
how come blondes don't wear tampons?
so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test?
A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peacekeeping mission.
During a briefing on landmines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid soldier raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."