Joke #6555

A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?  A: After a dye job.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!" "Okay," replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. "I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!" And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"

Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.

This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. "Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by providing me with sexual favors." The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly." "Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"

A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"

Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.

The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!

How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"