How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Yes.
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”