How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.