Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
A Shark alarm at Sydneys Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water except for three young boys who didn't hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, That was the most heroic thing I've ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrows newspaper: Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark! Thanks. Smiles the fella, but I'm not an Aussie. I'm a British backpacker. No worries, said the journalist with a frown, it'll still be front-page news. The next day, the newspapers headline screamed, Pommy bastard kills boy's pet fish!
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.