Get to know your mate. If there's something you need to know about him, just ask him right up front. And choose the right moment because the fellas don't like opening up. Like, after intimacy, turn around, look him in his eye and say, "I've been wanting to know, what's your name?"
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide! Do you have the airfield in sight?" Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
Yesterday I tried to catch fog. Mist.
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?
Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!