Joke #6612

Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: military, sex

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A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
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has 78.68 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: geography, military, priest, sex, war
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 71.34 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, military, sex, wife
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
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has 73.10 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: democrat, sex
The Commanding General is supposed to visit the unit, so, in order to appear snappy, the captain stations a private as a sentry outside the front door. "Inform me immediately upon the General's arrival," the captain orders the Private. "Yes sir!" the Private Responds. An hour goes by, and the General hasn't arrived. The worried Captain checks with the Sentry. "Did the General arrive?" "No Sir!" Another 1/2 hour goes by and the captain, getting nervous, checks with the sentry again? "Hasn't the General arrived yet?" "No Sir!" This continues for two hours. Finally, the General arrives. "Where the hell have you been?" snapped the private, "The captain's looking for you!"
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has 78.76 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: military, time
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 49.65 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"
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has 75.03 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: sex
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following: "Dear Mary, I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: military
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
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has 48.25 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: military