What about Where does a General keep his Armys? In his sleevies!
The soldier serving in Iraq was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don’t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building”. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
Q: What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? A: Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop. The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
Which month do soldiers hate most? March!