What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.