Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot.
Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'