Joke #6671

Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion

While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."

Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."

Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!

Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.

Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.

Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.

Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!

Two friends run into each other while walking their dogs. One suggests lunch. The other says, "They won't let us in a restaurant with pets." Undeterred, the first guy and his German shepherd head into the restaurant. The maître d' stops them, saying, "Sir, you can't bring your dog in here." "But I'm blind," the man replies, "and this is my guide dog." The maître d', apologizing profusely, shows both man and dog to a table. His friend waits five minutes, then tries the same routine. "You have a Chihuahua for a guide dog?" the skeptical maître d' says. "A Chihuahua?" the man says. "Is that what they gave me?"