Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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