Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.
They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low?
She thought it was diet coke.
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting?
Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing?
Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.