Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing. 
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought a ribbed condom was soul food.
How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a helping hand.
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Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day.
They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon.
They notice she isn't wearing any panties.
"Is it cooler without panties?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Yo mama so fat and stupid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.
Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way".