Joke #1359

Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.

Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.

A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years. And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.

Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.

Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.

Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.

Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.

Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.

A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."