Joke #1359

Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.

Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.

How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.

*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!

Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.

A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"

If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems. You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.

I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by: "for my blonde friends... an apology". One of them responded. "You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."