Joke #4462

Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: kids

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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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has 71.11 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, kids
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
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has 68.66 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred. She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock. After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder. So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
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has 32.18 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids