Joke #4462

Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: kids

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When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut. The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence. ‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor. ‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague. ‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
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has 17.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: kids
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?" Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, ugly
"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" "Yes, they do my love!" "Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" "Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..."
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has 76.02 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, love
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 62.94 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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has 71.47 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, kids