Joke #4462

Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
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A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".
Vote: has 79.65 % from 742 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, sex, women
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" ‘Well honey...' said the slightly prudish parent, "An Angel brought you to us." "Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the angel brought us too." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted. "Well darling, the angel brought them too!" said the parent. Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, kids, teacher
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way. A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom. So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats. The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?" Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
Son: "Daddy; why some of your hairs have turned white?" Father: "Every lie told by you makes one of my hairs white." Son: "Oh now I understood why all grandfathers' hairs are white."
Vote: has 84.77 % from 289 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, communication, dad, family, kids
What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.
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Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
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More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
When I was born, everyone was so happy. Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
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More jokes about: kids