Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?"
"Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!"
The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife.
So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!"
The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
Vote:
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Q: What's red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
You know when donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking?
That's what it's like having kids.
‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’
‘Of course.
What else could it be?’