Joke #4462

Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: kids

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When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: kids
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids, school
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."
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has 80.08 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: age, business, chocolate, kids
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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has 24.44 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"
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has 81.61 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: age, family, food, kids
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
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has 62.76 % from 445 votes. More jokes about: catholic, husband, kids, marriage
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
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has 56.57 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: kids, military, racist