Joke #6696

What do you call a old snowman? Water.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: kids

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A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
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has 70.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 76.72 % from 606 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: kids, life
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child? A: Caps and robbers
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: dentist, game, kids
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids