Joke #5436

Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!

Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.

A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.

‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson

When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time. I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer. I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches. Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down. I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...

The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"

Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.

I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.

I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.

Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".