Joke #5436

Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
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has 57.64 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctors appointment. The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding. She looks at her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The husband replies, "He said he stopped you for speeding." The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say? The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license." The women hands the officer her license and he sees that she is from his old home town. The officer tells the couple that he remembered the town because he had the worst sexual experience of his life there. The women looks at her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The husband replies, "He says he knows you."
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has 79.00 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: cop, doctor, driving, husband, sex
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
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has 50.78 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: sex
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
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has 65.19 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, technology
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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has 80.26 % from 1060 votes. More jokes about: sex
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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has 68.56 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
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has 71.20 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: sex
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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has 79.31 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, life, marriage, sex
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 30.59 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
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has 79.58 % from 957 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex