Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
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The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!"
Johny: "I have no idea."
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A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?
A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure.