Joke #6745

Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
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has 55.93 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: death, math

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The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
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has 83.72 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, math
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.
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has 33.81 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: bird, death, math, parrot
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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has 31.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, math
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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has 25.30 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, math
A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?" The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?" The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?" The blonde responded, "20, right?" Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde. The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
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has 72.76 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math
Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
Eleven year old’s environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution: "When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
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has 76.48 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: age, death, school