The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself