The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.