Q: How do you make seven an even number?
A: Take the s out!
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Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
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