Joke #6754

Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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has 72.63 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable. I just go up and down.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
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has 66.90 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
A man says to his wife, "Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing." Wife says, "I dont want to go." Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, "It tastes like sh*t. Man says, "I know, dog didnt want to go fishing either."
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has 74.55 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
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has 54.57 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? You come in one and you go in the other!
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has 48.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."  "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence!" said the man.  "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different ****," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"
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has 79.55 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, dirty, husband, women
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 77.11 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex