Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
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Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom?
A: I don’t know… ask your father.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Vote:
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!"
"What medicine?"
"To get another look...!"
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!