Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. "Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad. "But what about the 10,000 dollars?" "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
What is it? Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn’t have one. The Pope has one but doesn’t use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Bush is one. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi’s. What is it? The answer is: "A Last Name..." You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.