What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A zipper!
A woman wants everything from one man. A man wants one thing from all the women.
My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her. "...........dishes."
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!" "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."