What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
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A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Vote:
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Vote:
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?
He's down to four butts a day.
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.
The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said.
"Now you have to remove them."