What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
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A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.”
The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
“Never Father, I’m Jewish.”
“So then, why are you telling me?”
“I’m telling everybody!”
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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Roses are red
violets are blue,
I have never tried
So can I stick it up you?
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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