Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
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Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff.
His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong.
Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy."
"Like what?" asked Fozzie.
"Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't."
Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that?
You're not a prude or anything."
"No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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