Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road.
He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen.
Damn, that is one ugly child!."
As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears.
Just then, a mailman came to her rescue.
"What's the matter, madam?" he asked.
"I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed.
"There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket.
"Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
A: Because it gets you nowhere.