Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
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A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff!
I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch, herd."
Camper: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Of cows."
Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd."
Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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