Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
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During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
Gay translation
I want a commitment.
I'm sick of masturbation.
Haven't I seen you before?
Nice ass.
I need you.
My hand is tired.
You're the only man I've ever cared about.
You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.
I'm a Romantic.
I'm poor.
I really want to get to know you better.
So I can tell my friends about it.
It's just orange juice, try it.
3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head.
He's kinda cute.
I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue!
He's not my type.
He won't sleep with me.
I miss you so much
I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good.
I had a wonderful time last night.
Who the hell are you?
Do you love me?
I've done something stupid and you might find out.
Do you 'really' love me?
I've done something stupid and you're going to find out.
I'll give you a call.
I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.
I've been thinking a lot.
You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.
I think we should just be friends.
You're ugly.
I've learned a lot from you.
Next!!!!
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences.
After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?"
"In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."
The farm worker says okay and signs off.
About 10 minutes later he radios back.
"Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."
"So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped.
"The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
You said it was a great horse and it is.
It took twenty other horses to beat him!