A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse. The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast. The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve my boss’s horse.”
What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Who is little, black and jumps? A flee! But who’s big, black and jumps? Dr. Alban!
I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.