A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sex."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sex."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
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"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.
A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia.
When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack.
"Three rabbits," Jed said.
The warden said, "Let me see one of those rabbits."
So Jed pulled out one of the rabbits.
The warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's butthole, pulled it out, smelled it and said, "This is a Georgia rabbit."
Then the warden said, "Let me see your Georgia huntin' license."
So Jed showed him.
Then the warden said, "Let me see another one of those rabbits."
So Jed pulled out another rabbit.
Then the warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's bunghole, tasted it and said, "This is a Alamba rabbit. Let me see your Alamba huntin' license."
So Jed showed them to him. Then the Warden said, "Where you from boy?"
So Jed pulled his pants down and said, "You figure it out!"
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common?
A: Both take it in the rear.
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital.
The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery.
He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure.
The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own.
The man quickly agreed.
The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father by ten times, and if the pain became too much for to bear would he please let the doctor know.
The doctor turned on the machine and watched the man.
The man said he felt absolutely fine and he could take more.
The doctor turned the dial up to 40, 60, 80, and finally 100% of the pain, times ten.
The woman delivered the baby painlessly and the doctor stared at the man, astonished at how he could not even flinch with that much pain brought upon him.
The couple took the new baby home. There, on the front step, the mailman lay dead.
A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there.
They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him, "The men with really big dicks and the girls with really, really big boobs were both really, really dumb."
When they got to the beach they split up.
Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.
The boy said, ''Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, dumb blonde, and the longer they talked, the dumber he got.''
The neighbor from below told me that If I flood him once again, he will rape me.
So I turn on the water. I sit and wait.
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
They're going to call her Old Spice.
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