Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
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How do you know when a Barbie has her period?
All your tic tacks are gone.
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina?
A: A woman.
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Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me.
On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen.
Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
Two boys go into a forest and walk around.
Suddenly they see a naked women, then one of the boys run away.
The other chases after him. The boy asked "Why did u run away?"
The other said "My mom told me if i saw a naked women i'd turn to stone, i already felt something getting getting hard."