Joke #1261

What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
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has 60.30 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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During an international gynaecology conference, an English doctor, Dr. UK, Steve, and a French doctor, Dr. Myrddin, were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently. "Only last week," Dr. Myrddin said, "a woman came to see me with a clitoris like a melon!" "Don't be absurd, "Dr. UK Steve exclaimed, "It couldn't have been that big. My God, man, she wouldn't be able to walk if it were." "Aah, you English, always thinking about size," replied Dr. Myrddin. "I was talking about the flavour!"
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has 78.35 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, "I've got a huge crack." The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."
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has 80.64 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
2 cowboys talking about s*x. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !" "I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?" "Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"
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has 85.55 % from 1387 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers. They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl.When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter; “Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?” “No Papa,” replied the girl with a grin, “I managed to hide it when they were searching you.” “Hide it? where?” asked the guy,” I saw them search you too.” “I slipped it into my… a… my . . .um…. pee pee place. ”said the girl shyly. “Damn!” swore the guy, “If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!”
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has 80.60 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, teen
A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."
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has 84.43 % from 517 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
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has 71.05 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"
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has 82.97 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, horse, money