A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to.
They landed in each other.
Who was wrong?
The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.
Vote:
There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.
A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room.
The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner.
After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.
''Sure,'' the woman says.
''Let me go wash my hands first.''
After she washes her hands, they have sex.
After they are finished, she washes her hands again.
This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.''
Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo!
she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo".
The husband replies "explain the kids?!"