Joke #6919

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Vote:
has 61.56 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
Vote:
has 58.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. “Do you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.” The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.” Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun. He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.” The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.” The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
Vote:
has 81.05 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
Vote:
has 53.57 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote:
has 58.01 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
Vote:
has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.” “Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor. “Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.” “Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
Vote:
has 83.64 % from 756 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, phone, wife, women
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Vote:
has 65.43 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote:
has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Vote:
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
Vote:
has 54.09 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women