A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: I can't jelly my dick a baby's throat.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Three generations of hookers were sitting around the kitchen table one morning. The youngest moans "the economy is so bad, I can only get $20 for a blowjob. The middle aged hooker says "shit, you think that's bad? In my day $5 was a good trick" The oldest says "shit, back in the depression we was just happy to have something warm in our bellies"