Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
How does a gay man fake an orgasm? He spits on his partners back.
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.