I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
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Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
A spaceman landed on the moon.
To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS."
Curious, he went into the shop.
A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked.
"I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman.
The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand.
"Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
To be or not to be?
That is the question.
The answer?
Chuck Norris.
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Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor.
The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.
Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor.
This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit."
After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth.
Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?"
"It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
Always be yourself!
Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."
The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate."
Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."
The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."
Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."
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Joke has 81.60 % from 943 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, little Johnny, student, teacher
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
A: Cheez Whuz.