Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
Similar jokes
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Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
What do you find in a clean nose?
Fingerprints!
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
"What are you doing there?"
"I'm making something."
"What are you making?"
"A bomb."
"Can I help?"
"Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
A guy drives on the highway and sees a sign that says, "Mississippi State Whorehouse 10 miles."
He decides to stop in.
A madam answers the door, and the man requests a whore.
The madam says, "I'll need $500 first."
The man pays, then asks about his whore again.
The madam says "Wait for 15 minutes in that hallway. Go straight, left, straight, right, and then go through the door at the end of the hall."
He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot.
His car has a sign on it that says, "Congrats! You've just been screwed by the state of Mississippi!"
Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot.
Everyone can catch cold.
Get to know your mate.
If there's something you need to know about him, just ask him right up front.
And choose the right moment because the fellas don't like opening up.
Like, after intimacy, turn around, look him in his eye and say, "I've been wanting to know, what's your name?"