Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
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The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL.
It's out in the garden behind the garage.
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What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
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A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."
The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate."
Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."
The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."
Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."
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Joke has 81.60 % from 943 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, little Johnny, student, teacher
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?"
Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"
Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.”
Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too."
Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?"
Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?"
"No, I'm still alive."
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