Joke #6937

Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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A young priest is unhappy with how little money his congregation contributes every week to the collection plate. So decides to try a new tack and hypnotize them, using Father Matthews' priceless pocket watch. Thus hypnotized, they all give the five bucks he asked them too. Pumped by his success, he ups the amount to $10 the next week. Amazingly, everybody gives ten bucks each. The week after that, he decides to up it to twenty bucks, but just as he's about to announce the amount, he drops the watch. "S**t!" It took the workers two weeks to clean up the church.
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Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
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You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
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What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?" The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample." The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
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