An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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Once there was a little boy in church.
He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss."
The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite."
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper."
The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
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What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A Fart.
It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A: He came home shit faced.
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What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
They both shower after three periods!
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How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like?
A: Depends.
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
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