Joke #8248

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.

How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.

There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."

A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell. A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name." "You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay." So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!" "Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.

Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.

Why does the witch not wear panties when flying? Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.

Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!

Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.