Joke #7085

Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
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has 77.98 % from 432 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
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has 50.09 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 62.82 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
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has 36.97 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
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has 81.79 % from 296 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, sport
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?" Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus." Patient: "What happened?" Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Give me the bad news first." Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them." Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?" Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, hospital
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?" His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty