Joke #7085

Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
Vote: has 43.61 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Vote: has 80.90 % from 1945 votes. Send joke:
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Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?" Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus." Patient: "What happened?" Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Give me the bad news first." Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them." Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?" Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How are rape and an airplane similar? A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
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A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
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Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Vote: has 70.33 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
Vote: has 20.96 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
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An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
Vote: has 73.48 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
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One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.” The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.” The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?” The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”
Vote: has 85.29 % from 2828 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
Vote: has 44.47 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
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