This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.” The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
Q: What is your date of birth? A: December 30th. Q: What year? A: Every year
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age." There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47." Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
Yo mama is too black like she was born in a burning hospital.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!